Cognitively Challenged Ronni Fans
We've had so many nutters email us here that it's difficult to know where to start, so we thought it would be easier to start with the most recent and work back. A week ago or so we received a letter from someone who is clearly feeling let-down by the current NHS provision for mental health:
Dear Ronni, Let me start by saying that I am the biggest Victoria Beckham fan ever. I would also love to tell you that I have a foot fetish and would do anything on this planet to lick Victoria's feet but I know that this could never happen. I am asking you if it would be possible to lick your feet and pretend that you were her? It would be an honour and the greatest achievement of my life. I have an insatiable appetite for Victoria's feet and to get down on my hands and knees and lick between your toes would be heaven. I know that this is a strange request and you may think this a joke. I am not joking and this comes from the bottom of my heart. If my request is refused, I must ask one more favour, would it be then possible to have a pair of your old high heels, so that I can pretend that they are Victoria's? Thank you for your understanding and look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible. Chris.Chris - you're a mentalist! Go-on, poke him with a stick and laugh!
Name: Phil Email: email@example.com Impression: Carol Smilie Comments: Ive been looking n the internet for some nude photos but i cant seem to find any....anyway thanks for the great site a had a good masterbation setion looking at the pictures Date: Wed, 9 Jun 2004 15:09:13 +0100So glad we could be of assistance Phil. May we humbly suggest you look at yourself in the mirror and repeatedly shout the phrase "I can change, I will change".
Name: Tony Email: tonyXXX@hotmail.com Impression: Nigella Lawson Comments: Ronni is great comedian & stunning looking. Also has fantastic Bazooka Joes really impressive and real, watching her shows my buttocks have quivered sometimes and felt a deep stirring in my loins. Should be much more famous than she is! Date: Sat, 15 Nov 2008 10:41:26 +0000I'd see a doctor about that if I were you mate. Might be bowel trouble.
Name: Adrian Pepin Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Impression: On Parky Comments: What a fantastic lady - shame this website gets in the way of fans ebjoying er on demand. Only wanted to see the parky interview again and forced to deal with yahoo. Never mind. I'll just move on. Best of luck Ronnie. Especially with getting a better fansite . . . Date: Fri, 02 Jan 2009 18:34:02 +0000Really sorry to have let you down Adrian. Hope it didn't interfere with your regular onanistic regime. To help improve the site, I've nominated Adrian as the clearinghouse for all future complaints, criticisms and rants. If you feel you have something to say, no matter how ill-informed, ignorant, or irrelevant it may be, send an email to Ade and he can let me know.
Date: Sat, 17 Sep 2011 23:09:20 +0000 From Grizzly